WELCOME TO JENRAY'S TIME OF LIFE

Hi to everybody...hope you've had a good day...we've had a peaceful one...
Here's a joke from hubby's work...

There was a man who agreed to his wife having sex with
another man provided he could be in the bed at the same
time as she was having it.
She agreed to this and invited her lover to come round,
which he did.
The husband went to bed first, followed by the wife then
the lover slid in next to the wife.
The man wasn't sure the husband was really asleep so pulled
a hair out of his backside and there was no reaction,
so he went ahead and made love to the wife.
A bit later, the wife wanted it again.
The man was nervous in case the husband had woken up so
pulled out another one of the hairs on his backside
just to make sure he was still sound asleep. There was
no reaction so he started to make love to the wife for
the second time.
After it was over and some time had elapsed, she was
ready to go again. The man pulled another hair from
the husband's backside.
This time the husband sat up and said..'I don't mind
you having sex with my wife, but I wish you'd stop using
my arse as a scoreboard.'

**

That's it, my friends...just the one for tonight...have a restful night, sweet dreams, and big hugs to one and all...

Hi to everybody...hope you've all had a good day...it's been a lovely one here with sunshine all day long but gets dark early now, which reminds you winter's definitely on its way.
This is just a short post to tell you that next Monday there's a new series of three starting on BBC4 called 'Visions of the Future' at 9 o'clock after the very interesting prog on Photography, which I managed to see the repeat of the first one I missed during the week last night...I hadn't realised how wonderful were the images produced by daguerrotype that is only used now by artists and speciality photographers...the images are so life like as to be almost like holograms...marvellous pictures...I have seen them before, but this prog somehow brought them to my full attention...it's another series that's well worth a look especially as so many bloggers here love photography...
That's it for now, my friends, have a good evening, a restful night, sweet dreams, and big hugs to one and all...

Hi to everybody....here's the jokes for the evening...hope you enjoy them....

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister
at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a
problem--my husband keeps falling asleep during your
sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin
with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping,
and I will motion to you at specific times. When I
motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Jones dozed off.
Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work.
"And who pray made the ultimate sacrifice for you?"
he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg
with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister.
Soon, Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister
noticed.
"Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation,
motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Jones cried out as he was stuck again with
the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling.
Before long, Jones again winked off. However, this
time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the
tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that
Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband
with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam
after she bore him his last son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled,
"You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time
and I'll break it off and shove it up your ass!"

**

A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell.
When he got there, he saw one sign that said
Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell.
In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long
line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist
Hell. So the executive asked the guard, "What do they
do to you in Socialist Hell?"
"They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on
the rack," the guard replied.
"And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"
"The same exact thing," the guard answered.
"Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"
"Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of
oil, whips, and racks!"

*

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with a hole in
her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report
all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot
wound, so would she please explain how it happened?

The blonde said, "Well, to be honest with you, I was
trying to commit suicide, so first I stuck the gun in
my mouth, but thought, wait a minute, I just had all
that bridge work done, and I don't want to ruin it.
So, I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought,
wait a minute, I just got a nose job not too long ago,
and I don't want to ruin it! Then I pointed the gun
at my heart, and thought, wait a minute, I just had
these boobs done, and I don't want to ruin them! So
then I stuck the gun in my ear, and thought, wait a
minute, this is going to be loud!"

That's it, my friends...have a good evening, a restful night and sweet dreams...

Hi to everybody...here's the pictures of me and my cat that the two cats in my last post reminded me about...this is Jasper Carrot...and he was my lovely cat and friend...click on pics to see whole image...

Big hugs to one and all, have a restful night and sweet dreams...

Hi to everybody...here's a last minute pic of sheer comfort and love...

Night to everybody...and hope BCUK's hosts get their act together by tomorrow because today has been disastrous...big hugs to one and all, have a restful night and sweet dreams...

Hi to everybody...hubby came to me this afternoon and said do you want to hear something by Steve Voce from his article in Jazz Journal because he was sure Kev of the Isle Of Kev would really enjoy it...so here it is, folks, hot from Jazz Journal and with grateful thanks to Steve.. Jack Sheldon was a Jazz Trumpeter who played for many years with the Woody Hermann band and was a great raconteur...here's an example...


Whilst sorting out some Jack Sheldon
things for Vic Lewis I put together a few
details of Jack's biography. Jack, trum-
peter supreme and a great singer, remains
convinced that he is a lesbian trapped
inside the body of a man, but his main con-
cern these days is for his weight.
'These days I only eat once a day' he
told me. 'A cow and a salad. Years ago I
tried that musicians' diet when you have
to have every meal with Leonard Feather
while he told you what was wrong with
your playing. I joined Over-Eaters Anony-
mous, I joined Narcotics Anonymous. I
tried the 21-Day Drinking Man's diet and
I lost three weeks. They told me all these
things were diseases. I was glad to hear it
because I thought I was just having fun.
They told me that you lie to yourself and
tell yourself that everything's OK, and
that's a big part of it. So I wanted to join
Liars Anonymous but they kept lying to
me about where the meetings were held.
T used to drink very strong mm, and
there was no telling what I would do. One
time I woke up in a hotel room with a
fully-clothed sheep, and it was wearing an
engagement ring. No telling what I would
do.
T had really high quality cocaine. Not
the kind that has Dr Scholl's Foot Powder
put in it - with that your nose not only
runs, it jogs. The kind I used made you see
a flock of geese fly through the room. You
could never quite catch them, they'd go
right by.
my room". He said. "You got any left?"
'When I was bom in Jacksonville,
Florida, my father came into the room,
took one look at me and said "I'm going
out for some Pepsi."
'He never came back. I spent all my life
looking for him, hired detectives and
everything, and I finally found him work-
ing as a contortionist in a carnival in
Fresno under the name of D'Artagnan Le
Farge. He saw me sitting in the audience
and he was so shocked that he had a heart
attack and died in his own arms.
'It was when I joined Woody Herman's
band that I first met Go Go Gloria. She
travelled with the band. She didn't sing or
anything, just travelled with the band. She
was a very good sport. She had a huge
lower lip, but it was OK though because
her upper lip covered it. I told her that her
stockings were wrinkled and she said that
she never wore stockings. She had a lot of
little round bmises on her body where
guys had been touching her with a ten-foot
pole.
'I'll never forget the first time I saw her,
sitting on the Golden Gate Bridge, dan-
gling her feet in the water. It was love at
first sight. I said "Are you free tonight?"
She said "No, but I'm reasonable." '
'Jack was never actually in the Herman
band, but always told everyone that he had
been, so that in the end Woody was con-
vinced that Jack had been in his trumpet
section.
'Whenever I was out on the road and we
got a really bad room I used to say "Oh,
the Woody Herman Suite", and he got to
hear about that and that made him remem-
ber me.
'In actual fact when he was in town I
used to hire him to work with my band. He
was like me, he'd rather work than be just
sitting around. So I'm one of the few guys
that hired Woody Herman.
'America didn't treat Woody properly.
This was a guy who helped win the Sec-
ond World War and the IRS took his house
away from him. He had a manager who
never paid the taxes on the money that the
band earned. Woody didn't care about
money. He ended up really penniless.
Somebody bought his house and they let
him live in it.
'In San Francisco,' Jack told his
Swedish audience, 'one in five guys are
gay and the other four are jovial. I'm het-
erosexual; I came here to Sweden to have
a sex change operation. I’m going back as
a man.

That's it...great big hugs to one and all and have a lovely evening...

Hi, Playwrite27, here's wishing you a very Happy Birthday. Really hope you have a much better year than the one now passing...great big hugs to you and loads of love, Jenny.

Have a great day...XXX

Hi to everybody...I've just received an email from the team at BCUK, which I thought might interest everybody who has taken part in this particular blog session and others who might have read it but not felt the need to comment...

Dear jennifer hunter,

thank you for your request.

I will suggest this idea in our next team meeting.

Kind regards

blog.co.uk Customer Support

>
> Hi,
> Thank you for this response, but a lot of people don't agree
with your criteria for the most popular blogs....for a start,
the same ones appear nearly all the time, and, in some cases,
the same person has two blogs up at the same time, and that
doesn't seem right at all...I guess you're going to
continue as before as I read your response so, as per usual,
any attempt to try something different is dismissed as
unworkable...all you need to do to resolve the random blog
problem is remove anybody who hasn't blogged in the last
two weeks or even less...then, even if you got the occasional
nearly blank blog, at least we'd know that these people had
tried BCUK and had either moved on, or didn't like it here...
we could try communicating with them to see if they are all
right and show we do care here...with the current set up, only
the most ambitious or mercenary get to the top, which is
rather unpleasant...If this did happen, you could end up
profiting as shy or reluctant bloggers are drawn back to
participate more fully, and may even go pro...now wouldn't
that be helpful to you.
Cheers,
Jenny

Let's hope they do find a way of letting us have a glimpse into the world of our fellow bloggers other than being forced to trawl through their posts when we already have a lot of our own to look through each day...thanks to everybody who wrote to BCUK as well...big hugs to one and all and have a great day....

Hi, Doralene, here's wishing you a very Happy Birthday...hope you have a great year to come and may all your troubles be little ones...great big hugs to you and loads of love...

Have a great day... XXX

Hi to everybody, hope you've had a good day...dull and damp here so no walk on the heath today...here's a small offering for your amusement...an extra one as a couple of short ones here tonight...

Father O'Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners
after his Sunday morning service as he always does when
Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.
"What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired Farther O'Grady.
"Oh, father, I've got terrible news." Replied Mary.
"Well what is it, Mary?"
"Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father."
"Oh, Mary" said the father, "that's terrible. Tell me Mary,
did he have any last requests?"
"Well, yes he did father," replied Mary.
"What did he ask, Mary?"
Mary replied, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun...'"

**

A worldwide survey has been carried out with the following question:
"PLEASE, GIVE US YOUR OPINION ON THE LACK OF FOOD IN THE REST OF THE
WORLD"
No result was achieved, since the following problems were faced
during the survey's implementation:

1. In Western Europe no one knew what is "lack"
2. In Africa no one knew what is "food"
3. In Eastern Europe no one knew what is "opinion"
4. In South America no one knew what is "please"
5. In the USA no one knew what is "rest of the world"

*****

Jill, a love-starved spinster, was so desperate that she
went to a local newspaper office and inquired about
putting an advertisement in the 'Lonely Hearts' column.
"Well, madam," the assistant said, "we charge a minimum of
$1 per insertion."
"You don't say," said the spinster "Well then, here's
$20 and to hell with the advertisement!"

***

There is a story about a popular young rabbi, who on
Sabbath eve announces to the congregation that he will
not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger
congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.

Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up
and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I'll provide him with
a new sedan every year, and his lovely wife with a mini
van, to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs, and applauds.

Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands and says,
"If the rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a
foundation to guarantee the college education of his
children!!"

More sighs and applause.

Old Mrs. Goldfarb, aged 96, stands and announces,
"If the rabbi stays, I offer SEX!!"

There is a hush. The rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Goldfarb,
whatever possessed you to say that?"

Mrs. Goldfarb answers, "I just asked Mr. Goldfarb what we
could contribute to make the rabbi stay. Mr. Goldfarb said,
'Fuck the rabbi.'"

**

Big hugs to one and all, and hope you have a restful night, sweet dreams and for now...

Hi to everybody...while watching this, I was extremely grateful to be living in a country where fires like this are a rarity...we have heath fires in the summer regularly, but nothing like this...If Arnie wanted proof that global warming is affecting the weather, it's a pity it had to come with such ferocity as this...

I bet somebody will pick up on the fact that it was a church that burned down first

Hope you have had a good day and will have a good evening...big hugs to one and all...

Hi to everybody...I'm looking for the geeks amongst my lovely friends or visitors...I want to animate a button or put an audio message up on my website with regard to the click on here button for the free mammogram...it's so easy to forget to click on it...I do so I expect a lot of my visitors do as well...has anybody any idea how I can do that please...
Big hugs and have a good evening...

Hi to everybody...just a short animation...starts off knowing exactly how he feels with the endless waiting game especially around here then hmmm...see for yourself

Big hugs to one and all....

Hi to everybody, hope you're either feeling better today or have had a good morning. I received today a response to my blog on Top Blogs from the BCUK team and I'm putting it up for you to read and my response back for your perusal...First is my response back to their answer below... so I suggest you read that one first then the top one....

Hi,
Thank you for this response, but a lot of people don't agree with your criteria for the most popular blogs....for a start, the same ones appear nearly all the time, and, in some cases, the same person has two blogs up at the same time, and that doesn't seem right at all...I guess you're going to continue as before as I read your response so, as per usual, any attempt to try something different is dismissed as unworkable...all you need to do to resolve the random blog problem is remove anybody who hasn't blogged in the last two weeks or even less...then, even if you got the occasional nearly blank blog, at least we'd know that these people had tried BCUK and, had either moved on, or didn't like it here...we could try communicating with them to see if they are all right and show we do care here...with the current set up, only the most ambitious or mercenary get to the top, which is rather unpleasant...If this did happen, you could end up profiting as shy or reluctant bloggers are drawn back to participate more fully, and may even go pro...now wouldn't that be helpful to you.
Cheers,
Jenny
>
> Dear jennifer hunter,
>
> thank you for your request.
>
> We don't mean for the Top Blogs to be a competition, it is there so that
> people can easily find and read the consistently most popular blogs. We could
> have it that completely random blogs are displayed on the homepage, however
> that would more often than not result in empty or unused blogs appearing. We
> feel that it is in the community's best interests to have the more popular
> blogs easily accessible.
>
> As for the criteria in deciding the featured blogs, it is a complex algorithm
> based upon pageviews, comments, links from other blogs and other external
> sites, as well as a number of other factors.
>
> Kind regards
>
> blog.co.uk Customer Support

Looks like everything is going to remain the same...oh, well, maybe my response will keep the pot boiling for a little longer, but, if we do want change, why not write to the BCUK team yourself, and see if more than one request for a change works better than a single one...
Have a great day, and I send you big hugs... for now...

Hi to everybody, hope you had a good weekend, though I realise from the posts that some of you aren't so good at the moment, and I can only hope you get better soon...
We saw Volver last night and thought it was brilliant...Almodovar manages to get wonderful performances out of his actors and actresses, and the story kept you involved from the first scene right through to the last...I do hope some of you managed to see it or record it if not able to straight away...
Tonight we went out again to Cafe Rouge and had a lovely meal, but no dessert this time as we were absolutely chock a block with just the starter and the meal...came home and I sat in my armchair groaning because I was still suffering while watching Smallville...but I'm okay now...I had duck and green beans and dauphinoise potatoes, this time they did something to the potatoes and they were out of this world delicious, hubby had a taste at the end when I just couldn't manage another mouthful and agreed they were superb...the restaurant is packed every time we go...haven't found a better one anywhere, and there's a great relaxed atmosphere there and we had a singer and guitarist tonight as well...
So, my friends, after a really bad night last night, I hope I have a better one tonight, and wish you all a restful one, sweet dreams and big hugs to one and all...

Hi to everybody...just to bring a light touch to the weekend, and while I'm waiting for Volver to start at 10 o'clock...here's one I thought might amuse you...it's answers I believe in an exam...

Ahh...I have every faith in the next generation to take over the world...

*Question: What is one horsepower?
*Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to
drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

*You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how
close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit,
so never mind.

*Talc is found on rocks and on babies.

*The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming
back down.

*When they broke open molecules, they found they
were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke
open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

*When people run around and around in circles we say
they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

*Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.

*While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance
from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

*Someday we may discover how to make magnets that
can point in any direction.

*South America has cold summers and hot winters,
but somehow they still manage.

*Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still
knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

*Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees.
There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling
because there are 180 degrees between north and south.

*A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind
which way it wants to go.

*There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters
are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means
living forever.

*There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center
of the Earth because of so much population stomping
around up there these days.

*Lime is a green-tasting rock.

*Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while
others preferred to be oil.

*Genetics explain why you look like your father and
if you don't why you should.

*Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let
them know we know they're there.

*Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others
help make water, so sometimes it's brother against
brother.

*Some people can tell what time it is by looking at
the sun. But I have never been able to make out the
numbers.

*We say the cause of perfume disappearing is
evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot
of things people forget to put the top on.

*To most people solutions mean finding the answers.
But to chemists solutions are things that are still
all mixed up.

*In looking at a drop of water under a microscope,
we find there are twice as many H's as O's.

*Clouds are high flying fogs.

*I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds
know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

*Clouds just keep circling the earth around and
around. And around. There is not much else to do.

*Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is
big enough to be called a drop, it does.

*Humidity is the experience of looking for air
and finding water.

*We keep track of the humidity in the air so we
won't drown when we breathe.

*Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely
known as hail.

*Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

*In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints
of fishes.

*Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on
a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

*A blizzard is when it snows sideways.

*A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.

*A monsoon is a French gentleman.

*Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

*Isotherms and isobars are even more important
than their names sound.

*It is so hot in some places that the people there
have to live in other places.

*The wind is like the air, only pushier.

That's it for tonight, big hugs to one and all, have a restful night and sweet dreams... for now...

Hi to everybody...just a reminder...10 o'clock Sky Premiere - Volver...brilliant film...don't forget it if you enjoy fine directing and acting....big hugs to one and all and have a lovely day...and, my friends...DON'T FORGET TO CLICK ON PINK BUTTON WHENEVER YOU VISIT HERE...

Hi to everybody...here's a lovely end to the day...my alter ego in action...

Big hugs to one and all Sweet dreams...

Hi to everybody...this is just a short post...I read in the Independent today an article by Dr. Watson, who yesterday declared that dark skinned people had lower intelligence than light skinned people according to his genetic studies...today, he has stated that, in Los Angeles, one out of every three people applying for jobs in the employment bureaus are either pyschopaths or sociopaths???
How can he possibly know that, and, if it's true, the USA is in truly deep sh*t...because one would presume that must apply to other cities as well all round the American states...this is getting very silly...
Well, that's my short post for today, hope you all have a lovely day and big hugs to one and all...

Hi to Zenthru on your birthday...sorry it's a bit late again, but the mornings keep disappearing in a puff of smoke
Hope you have a great day...and big hugs to you.

Hi to you my friend...have a great day, sorry it's a bit late but am really running very late all round this morning.

Great big hugs to you and loads of love...XXX

Hi to everybody...I was going to answer Usksider with this comment then decided I wanted to put it up as a post because it's really making me mad, and when something makes me mad, I have to do something about it...so here's the comment...
I had a bad night last night dreaming about the darned blogs... I was absolutely infuriated to find that the Environmental Blog round up had selected a top 19 blogs... this is not what the day was all about... and simply by putting them up it proved the team had no idea either, which was bloody sad. Co-operation is essential if we're to change things around, not damned competition, which has brought the whole thing about... I don't know about you, but I'd love to know just how many people in BCUK would like to lose the top 24 blogs altogether here and the top 19 on the Environmental blog round up... the whole of creation vies for space and food, that's the cold facts of survival, but dozens of species have learned that cooperation with others gives them a much better chance of surviving... it's about damned time BCUK learns that this site is not about competition, it's about people mainly trying to survive in a world where competition reigns supreme...and what a mess we've made of the world as a result...
Okay, I know this is a bit strong, but I couldn't believe my eyes when I went to the Round up and saw that they had selected 19 blogs out of all the thousands that took part. Who decided these were the best blogs? Who decides the top 24 here are the best blogs?
This is not sour grapes because I and a lot of my friends aren't on it... it's because it's introduced a competitive element into blogging, which is completely unnecessary. In fact, to some people, it could be completely off putting, namely as they can't reach the top 24, they must be doing something wrong, or they're unpopular, and so they back away and probably a very nice individual is lost to us...
There's a difference between a one off photography or poetry comp organized between ourselves...that's acceptable, but this darned Top 24 blogs chosen by faceless individuals using criteria nobody can actually work out...
So, my friends, and not yet friends, out there in blogland or rather BCUK...can you let me know if you think I'm ranting about nothing, or whether I do have a legitimate point, and whether or not with enough support we can get rid of the Top 24 blogs and maybe just work through every active blog as a feature instead if the team don't want to lose this part altogether...that way everybody would get featured at some point and the competative aspect would be eliminated...
That's it for now, great big hugs to one and all and have a lovely day....

Hi to everybody...before I go to bed, can I just remind you to click on the link to enable a free mammogram to be given to women all round the world...each time you visit my page, just remember to click on it...very simple and a great idea...Got it from Joebangles with grateful thanks and thought it was such a good idea, I've put it up permanently on my site...
That's it for today...hope you have a restful night, sweet dreams and big hugs to one and all... for now...

Hi to everybody...just a nice light bit of nostalgia...Monty Python's, the Travel Agent..still brilliant and hope you think so too...

Monty Python, Travel Agent Sketch

“Yes, I quite agree with you, I mean, what's the point of being treated like a sheep? I mean I'm fed up going abroad and being treated like sheep. What's the point of being carted around in buses, surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Coventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors, complaining about the tea, 'Oh, they don't make it properly here, do they, not like at home', stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy, raw, swollen, purulent flesh 'cause they 'overdid it on the first day', and being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellvueses and Bontinentals with their international luxury modern roomettes and their Watney's Red Barrel and their swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending to be acrobats and forming pyramids and frightening the children and barging into the queues and, if you're not at your table, spot on seven you miss your bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, the first item on the menu of International Cuisine, and every Thursday night there's bloody cabaret in the bar featuring some tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch hips and some big, fat, bloated tart with her hair Brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners, and then some adenoidal typists from Birmingham with diarrhea and flabby white legs and hairy bandy-legged wop waiters called Manuel, and then, once a week, there's an excursion to the local Roman Ruins where you can buy cherryade and melted ice cream and bleedin' Watney's Red Barrel, and then one night they take you to a local restaurant with local colour and colouring and they show you there and you sit next to a party of people from Rhyl who keeps singing 'Torremolinos, Torremolinos' and complaining about the food, 'Oh, it's so greasy, isn't it?', and then you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton with an Instamatic and Dr. Scholl sandals and Tuesday's 'Daily Express' and he drones on and on and on about how Mr. Smith should be running this country and how many languages Enoch Powell can speak and then he throws up all over the Cuba Libres, and sending tinted postcards of places they don't know they haven't visited, 'To all at number 22, weather wonderful, our room is marked with an 'X'. Wish you were here. Food very greasy but we have managed to find this marvellous little place hidden away in the back streets where you can even get Watney's Red Barrel and cheese and onion crisps and the accordionist plays "Maybe It's Because I'm a Londoner"', and spending four days on the tarmac at Luton airport on a five-day package tour with nothing to eat but dried Watney's sandwiches and you can't even get a drink of Watney's Red Barrel because you're still in England and the bloody bar closes every time you're thirsty and there's nowhere to sleep and the kids are crying and vomiting and breaking the plastic ash-trays and they keep telling you it'll only be another hour although your plane is still in Iceland and has to take some Swedes to Yugoslavia before it can load you up at 3 a.m. in the bloody morning and you sit on the tarmac till six because of 'unforeseen difficulties', i.e. the permanent strike of Air Traffic Control in Paris - and nobody can go to the lavatory until you take off at 8, and when you get to Malaga airport everybody's swallowing "enterovioform" and queuing for the toilets and queuing for the armed customs officers, and queuing for the bloody bus that isn't there to take you to the hotel that hasn't yet been finished. And when you finally get to the half-built Algerian ruin called the Hotel del Sol by paying half your holiday money to a licensed bandit in a taxi you find there's no water in the pool, there's no water in the taps, there's no water in the bog and there's only a bleeding lizard in the bidet. And half the rooms are double booked and you can't sleep anyway because of the permanent twenty-four-hour drilling of the foundations of the hotel next door - and you're plagues by appalling apprentice chemists from Ealing pretending to be hippies, and middle-class stockbrokers' wives busily buying identical holiday villas in suburban development plots just like Esher, in case the Labour government gets in again, and fat American matrons with sloppy-buttocks and Hawaiian-patterned ski pants looking for any mulatto male who can keep it up long enough when they finally let it all flop out. And the Spanish Tourist Board promises you that the raging cholera epidemic is merely a case of mild Spanish tummy, like the previous outbreak of Spanish tummy in 1660 which killed half London and decimated Europe, and meanwhile the bloody Guardia are busy arresting sixteen-year-olds for kissing in the streets and shooting anyone under nineteen who doesn't like Franco. And then on the last day in the airport lounge everyone's comparing sunburns, drinking Nasty Spumante, buying cartons of duty free 'cigarillos' and using up their last pesetas on horrid dolls in Spanish National costume and awful straw donkeys and bullfight posters with your name on 'Ordoney, El Cordobes and Brian Pules of Norwich' and 3-D pictures of the Pope and Kennedy and Franco, and everybody's talking about coming again next year and you swear you never will although there you are tumbling bleary-eyed out of a tourist-tight antique Iberian airplane.”

That's it for tonight...great big hugs to you all, hope you have a restful night, and sweet dreams to one and all...

Hi to everybody...I tried to put a new image up in my header and now I've lost all my posts and can't get them back...any idea how to do this? Fed up with all these glitches in BCUK...it's one after another...either the posts vanish or the comments disappear and the design part is still a mess...half in english and half in german...BCUK get your act together, we're paying for this...