Hi to everybody...hubby came to me this afternoon and said do you want to hear something by Steve Voce from his article in Jazz Journal because he was sure Kev of the Isle Of Kev would really enjoy it...so here it is, folks, hot from Jazz Journal and with grateful thanks to Steve.. Jack Sheldon was a Jazz Trumpeter who played for many years with the Woody Hermann band and was a great raconteur...here's an example...


Whilst sorting out some Jack Sheldon
things for Vic Lewis I put together a few
details of Jack's biography. Jack, trum-
peter supreme and a great singer, remains
convinced that he is a lesbian trapped
inside the body of a man, but his main con-
cern these days is for his weight.
'These days I only eat once a day' he
told me. 'A cow and a salad. Years ago I
tried that musicians' diet when you have
to have every meal with Leonard Feather
while he told you what was wrong with
your playing. I joined Over-Eaters Anony-
mous, I joined Narcotics Anonymous. I
tried the 21-Day Drinking Man's diet and
I lost three weeks. They told me all these
things were diseases. I was glad to hear it
because I thought I was just having fun.
They told me that you lie to yourself and
tell yourself that everything's OK, and
that's a big part of it. So I wanted to join
Liars Anonymous but they kept lying to
me about where the meetings were held.
T used to drink very strong mm, and
there was no telling what I would do. One
time I woke up in a hotel room with a
fully-clothed sheep, and it was wearing an
engagement ring. No telling what I would
do.
T had really high quality cocaine. Not
the kind that has Dr Scholl's Foot Powder
put in it - with that your nose not only
runs, it jogs. The kind I used made you see
a flock of geese fly through the room. You
could never quite catch them, they'd go
right by.
my room". He said. "You got any left?"
'When I was bom in Jacksonville,
Florida, my father came into the room,
took one look at me and said "I'm going
out for some Pepsi."
'He never came back. I spent all my life
looking for him, hired detectives and
everything, and I finally found him work-
ing as a contortionist in a carnival in
Fresno under the name of D'Artagnan Le
Farge. He saw me sitting in the audience
and he was so shocked that he had a heart
attack and died in his own arms.
'It was when I joined Woody Herman's
band that I first met Go Go Gloria. She
travelled with the band. She didn't sing or
anything, just travelled with the band. She
was a very good sport. She had a huge
lower lip, but it was OK though because
her upper lip covered it. I told her that her
stockings were wrinkled and she said that
she never wore stockings. She had a lot of
little round bmises on her body where
guys had been touching her with a ten-foot
pole.
'I'll never forget the first time I saw her,
sitting on the Golden Gate Bridge, dan-
gling her feet in the water. It was love at
first sight. I said "Are you free tonight?"
She said "No, but I'm reasonable." '
'Jack was never actually in the Herman
band, but always told everyone that he had
been, so that in the end Woody was con-
vinced that Jack had been in his trumpet
section.
'Whenever I was out on the road and we
got a really bad room I used to say "Oh,
the Woody Herman Suite", and he got to
hear about that and that made him remem-
ber me.
'In actual fact when he was in town I
used to hire him to work with my band. He
was like me, he'd rather work than be just
sitting around. So I'm one of the few guys
that hired Woody Herman.
'America didn't treat Woody properly.
This was a guy who helped win the Sec-
ond World War and the IRS took his house
away from him. He had a manager who
never paid the taxes on the money that the
band earned. Woody didn't care about
money. He ended up really penniless.
Somebody bought his house and they let
him live in it.
'In San Francisco,' Jack told his
Swedish audience, 'one in five guys are
gay and the other four are jovial. I'm het-
erosexual; I came here to Sweden to have
a sex change operation. I’m going back as
a man.


That's it...great big hugs to one and all and have a lovely evening...